FRIENDSHIPS…a blessing and a curse

Based out of Jeremiah 17:5-8

Friendships…let’s be honest girls…they can be a blessing and they can be a curse. Sometimes both at the same time!

God has built us for community with one another, no doubt.  The Bible talks about the importance of friendships in our lives.

                “Two are better than one”… Ecclesiastes 4:9

                “A friend who sticks closer than a brother (or sister)”… Proverbs 18:24

                “A friend loves at all times”… Proverbs 17:17

But we live in a culture that bases our worth on how many and how deep our friendships are.

Why do you think we get disappointed when only a few people like our posts on Facebook? Not to mention those posts about “if you really care about me, you will comment below.” We have reduced ourselves to a society of “likes” and “comments”.

I have often measured my life’s worth by my friendships. My good days are when I can look at my life relationally and feel fulfilled.  The bad days are when I take a census of my friendships and come up empty. To be honest, I have often placed my worth within the relationships I have here on earth. I love human connection but unfortunately, I have spent so much emotional energy on that connection that I have worn myself out. When I spend all that energy horizontally, I have no energy left to spend it vertically. Jesus is my vertical connection, but I cannot see or touch Him.

I have lived the sentiments of Anne Shirley, the character in the series, Anne of Green Gables. Anne states,

“A bosom friend – an intimate friend, you know – a really kindred spirit to whom I can confide my inmost soul. I’ve dreamed of meeting her all my life. I never really supposed I would, but so many of my loveliest dreams have come true all at once that perhaps this one will too.”

If you have ever watched these movies or read these books, you know that her search for a “bosom friend” consumed her thoughts and her life.  I want to raise my hand right now and sheepishly admit that has also been me.

As believers, though, we are offered so much more.  But unfortunately, we too spend most of our energy searching for the horizontal relationships here on earth losing perspective of what is given to us from Jesus.

The scripture for today is taken from the book of Jeremiah. The context of these verses is that God was angry with the nation of Judah because they valued their “bosom friend” over their search for God. God’s people had put their trust in man missing out on the connection that God longed to have with those He loved. It was more important for them to please those around them than to please God.

God says, “Look people…you can be a bush, or you can be a tree.  You choose!”

If we put our trust in man, we are like a bush.

“Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who draws strength from mere flesh and whose heart turns away from the Lord.

THAT PERSON WILL BE LIKE A BUSH in the wastelands…” Jeremiah 17:5,6

Look at that verse through the filter of friendships.  When we rely so much on man, or in our case, woman, our hearts are turned away from God. Our focus becomes horizontal using up our emotional energy to meet those needs, therefore we do not need to look to Jesus because the temporary need for connection has been met in our friendships.

But God says those who rely on mere humans become like a bush in the desert with no hope for the future. 

Picture this with me…big desert, small bush!  One small lonely bush! 

Now don’t get me wrong, God has created us for community with those here on earth, but this “bush” concept seems to totally defeat our purpose in our dependence on friendships for fulfillment.

But if we put our trust in God, we are like a tree.

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.

THEY WILL BE LIKE A TREE planted by the water that sends out it’s roots by the stream.

It does not fear when heat comes;

It’s leaves are always green.

It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” Jeremiah 17:7

Have you looked at a tree lately? It looks nothing like a bush!

A tree has a strong solid base called a trunk.  This trunk provides the stamina needed for that tree to grow tall reaching toward the blue sky.  As it grows towards the light of the sun, its branches grow connecting with other branches producing green, healthy leaves.  Because of its strength and stamina, it is not bothered by the heat and long months of drought are not worrisome. And those roots?  Well, trees have an amazing root system which anchors the trunk providing energy for the tree to continue in its growth.  As that tree grows taller, its roots grow wider. So, a tree grows both vertically and horizontally. It is the best of both worlds.

When we put our trust solely in God, we become a tree!…

A tree that grows up towards the Son.

A tree that is not bothered by the heat brought on by pressures of this world.

A tree that is not affected by a drought brought on by lack of emotional connection.  

A tree with roots growing horizontally towards other trees while encouraging our fellow tree to look up and grow vertically.

I don’t know about you, but I want to be a tree and not a bush. 

I want to spend my energy everyday reaching toward the Son soaking in the the nourishment that I need to continue to grow in my faith and dependence on the God who created me. 

I want to be a tree who has the best of both worlds growing vertically and horizontally enjoying the encouragement of other trees as we both grow together towards the Son.

Friendships, yes! But when we as women put all our energy towards our friendships, there is no energy left to reach towards Jesus.

So here is a test…when pain and heartache come in your life, pause! Instead of immediately thinking of who you need to call, pause, and talk with Jesus. Don’t give Him the leftovers of your hurt, give Him the first of the hurt. I guarantee you will see a difference in your sense of peace. I have tried it, and it works!

One more thought before we part…when you get to your eternal home in Heaven, who would you like to know the most? Jesus or your “bestie”? Just think about it!