Yesterday my youngest son married the love of his life.
Sarah’s story …”I was a freshman, and he was a senior. I saw him from afar at our church’s college retreat. I told my girlfriends that he was cute but didn’t think I had a chance.”
Joshua’s story…”Mom, there is a really cute girl”…need I say more!
That was the beginning and yesterday they committed themselves in marriage!
The declaration of love for one another is a marked moment when the dating relationship shifts from casual to a bit more serious. When we say “I love you” it deepens the level of commitment. We know that some couples declare this too flippantly therefore wasting this monumental moment on a relationship that lasts for just a brief time. But when the relationship shows more promise, that declaration carries with it a deeper meaning and possibly a lifetime commitment.
But “What’s love got to do with it?” This phrase was coined by the famous Tina Turner when she debuted this song in May 1984. Was she describing the survival of her abusive marriage? Or maybe she was questioning the validity of the sexual relationship that occurs between a couple with no real emotional bong? So often, we call it love to making an excuse for our physical actions but the truth is that love has nothing to do with it.
The bond of marriage is often captured because of declaration of love.
“Why do you want to marry?”
“Because I love him.”
But will the emotion of love carry us to the pinnacle of our relationship that we long for? Probably not!
The love that we have for one another as an espoused couple goes beyond the emotion of love.
There are mornings that I wake up and don’t feel the love towards my husband. If I depended on that emotion of love, then our relationship would be worse than a ride on the biggest rollercoaster in the world.
So, what glues this relationship?
Phrases that describe love…
“Love is a commitment.” That’s true!
“Love is a choice”… true! “
“All you need is love”… well, that’s debatable!
When I was in High School, I was on court for our winter dance. The question they wanted the attendants to answer was, “If you could have anyone living in your castle of love, who would that be?” After a long debate between Shaun Cassidy and Andy Gibbs, I finally concluded my answer. As I made my way down the aisle on the arm of my date, the announcer read…
“When asked who would live in her castle of love, Melody said…
GOD because He is the creator of love.”
A hush fell over the crowd…
Not a hush because of the astonishment of my faith, but a hush because of the ludicrously answer on a night of love and romance.
When I look back at that moment, I realize that my answer to that question was spot on. I realize that as a young teenager, this was a small way for me to proclaim my faith, but the impact of that answer goes so much deeper than a young teen trying to stand up for her faith. It was THE answer to the question of love.
I John 4:16 says it beautifully…GOD IS LOVE!
“And so, we know and rely on the love God has for us. GOD IS LOVE. Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them.” I John 4:16
This is it! This is the answer to love! …GOD! Because God IS LOVE!
God isn’t just about love or wants us to love, He is love! If you sliced God down the middle like a cream filled chocolate, love would be the ingredient that would flow from Him.
So, what’s love got to do with it? Everything!
Let’s break down verse 16…
“And so, we know….”
What do we know?
Vs. 7 – we know that “love comes from God.”
“and rely on the love God has for us.”
When we rely solely on the love that we have within ourselves, that supply will quickly run dry. That is why we “fall out of love” because our source of love comes from us. But when we realize that the source of love is God, that well will never run dry. It is an endless supply!
“GOD IS LOVE”…Vs. 16
This is the crux of love.
Remember how I answered who would live in my Castle of Love? I answered, “God, because He is the creator of love.” When we “look for love in all the wrong places”, we will always end up empty handed. But when we can see the truth that the true definition of love is God, we will know to seek Him when our “love tank” is empty therefore not relying on others to fill it.
“Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them.” Vs. 16
That’s a lot of “lives” and “love” and “in” words. But what does it mean? Our natural desire as humans is to seek love. We want to be loved by our parents, by our friends and by our “lover”. We think that love in these areas will give us the fulfillment in life that we long for. “If I could just find the ‘one’ for me then life will be good.” We set out on that adventure of discovery. But when we find it and settle into it, it only seems to disappoint. That’s because we chose the wrong castle to live in. Or the wrong person to live in it. No, not the wrong spouse therefore I need to change spouses, but the wrong source for our love. We have looked for that spouse to fulfill us when in truth we need to look for the Creator of Love to indwell us.
Here is the equation, if God equals Love and we desire to Live in Love, then we must Live in God.
So, let’s break this down to practical terms. When I wake up in the morning and don’t really feel that love for my husband, no worries!!! It doesn’t come from within me to love him. It comes from within my relationship with God. If we have had an argument or I am simply bored of his love, my heart needs to pivot. It needs to pivot away from him and turn to God as the source of my love because GOD IS LOVE!
Message to my sweet son and his new bride…
Joshua…Sarah…last night you entered into an agreement to love each other til death separates you. This is an exciting yet daunting commitment. There will be days or even weeks when that love will wane. In this waning, you will be confused and even disillusioned. It is in those moments that you need to remind yourself who your true source of love is! Remember that GOD IS LOVE! He is the One who lives in your Castle of Love.
THE WALK 
Mel, everything you said is true, it has to be aGodly love
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