ABANDONED Part 1…God Is Strangely Absent

As Mary walked down the hall stepping closer to her bedroom door, there was an innate sense that something was different.  With each step, she had a sense that something had changed. She couldn’t quite figure it out, but something was wrong.   She felt unsettled; off centered; unanchored.  As she placed her hand on the doorknob of her room, a feeling of displacement crept inside her.

Sitting at the breakfast table earlier that morning, things felt different.  The conversation wasn’t as free flowing as she had become so accustomed to.  For some reason, it seemed as though the others didn’t look into her face but peered around her as though she no longer existed.  Conversations were cut short and shallow. As she finished her breakfast, she stood to dismiss herself. No one looked up from the table.  No one said, “Have a good day.”  There was something about that morning that gave her the sense that her day was going to be anything but good. 

Her hand slowly turned the knob on her bedroom door.  When her hand completed the turn of the knob, a knot gathered into the pit of her stomach.  As she looked into her room, it was gone.  It was all gone. Everything that was personal to her was removed from the shelves.  Her favorite blanket was taken off the bed.  Her closet was no longer her closet.  It had been emptied of everything she owned.  Everything that she called her own had been boxed up and now stacked in the corner of the room.

She had been removed!

              She had been dismissed!

As she walked down the hall carrying her last and final box, no one came out to tell her goodbye.  She saw shadows of people as they hid in the corridors.  Shadows of people who just the day before, she had spent time laughing with.  The laughter had ceased and those who were once her friends were now dark silhouettes reminding her that she no longer belonged.

She steps into the car alone, …

                                                      Dismissed…

                                                                                  Abandoned…

These are emotions that I have felt way too often in my life! I’m confident that you have felt them too!

You know, those moments when conversations quiet as we enter the crowded circle.

The looks.

The whispers.

The shame.

Then the dismissal.

                            Feelings of being abandoned.

For some reason, we are no longer a part of the crowd. 

We are no longer invited to the parties or asked to sit at their table.

 We are simply dismissed…abandoned!

Within this dismissal, we learn to navigate life differently.  We learn to appear as though we have confidence, but truthfully, confidence is simply some catch phrase written on a poster or plastered across Facebook.  It really does not exist within us but if we appear too shaken, we will never be invited to return to the crowd.  So, we exist with a shell of confidence that houses the truth of our inadequacies and feelings of dismissal.

Have you ever felt this way?

Have you ever felt pushed aside…ignored? Abandoned?

There is a woman in the Old Testament whose life story embodies this moment of abandonment.   Interestingly, the story itself is not one that many would recognize. This woman’s story is tucked within a bigger story.  A story so big that when mentioned most of the universe would recognize it.   This story has been on the “best seller” list for centuries. But before the big story was another story.  The story before THE story. This story is about a woman that is often seen as disobedient because she didn’t follow the rules. Because she didn’t follow the rules, she was abandoned. So, was she a woman of tenacity or a woman of disobedience? I’ll let you decide.

I will spend the next few weeks rolling out this story for you. You will not want to miss any piece of this continued story because even though the circumstances surrounding this story may be different from yours, this story may be your story!

The story that I am going to tell you comes from the book of Esther.  You know, the queen who was brave and took on her man to save her people.  We all know that story or are somewhat familiar with it.  But do you know the story that comes before THE story? Are you aware that there was a queen before THE queen? Esther was actually the “other” woman in the life of King Xerses.

We often refer to the book of Esther as a great movement of God, but truthfully the book of Esther is considered the “Godless Book”. As you read the book, you will notice that the name of God is never mentioned.  There is no reference to any spiritual being or higher power. Was it because God wasn’t there? Was he too busy fighting other battles? Was He non-existent? Was He absent?

To say that God wasn’t a part of this story would be mere blasphemy. Of course, He was a part of Esther’s story. But because it is considered the “Godless Book”, it came close to being excluded from the biblical canon (the bible as we know it today). The scholars considered not including this book because there is no mention of God.  But as they studied the writings, they could see a great movement of God in a story that needed to be told.

There are times in life, we feel as though God does not exist. We look around and don’t see Him as a part of our story. We feel as though when roll is called, He has been marked absent. We  feel abandoned by God. But consider this,

Sometimes God is…

STRANGELY ABSENT, YET FULLY PRESENT!

In the “Godless Book”, the book of Esther, …

God was …strangely absent.

But the movement of God is written in every chapter; every phrase; every word!

…fully present!

Join me next week as we continue this story ABANDONED…